Some nights are lonelier than others.
It isn't until the dark shade of evening
that all of the day's failures
are given
life.

Flaws...
Shortcomings...
Not good enough...
Broken...
Bent...
Unworthy...

Anxiety suppressed into denial is given girth...
          and I choke under its weight.
The room gets smaller
as the silence gets louder...

And I know...

That I am not good enough. 
That all that I am will never meet all that they want me to be.

A disappointment unmeasured...

And a defeat
never to be forgotten,
as it lives anew

each
day.

Work in progress...

Ill look for you in the shadows
And rivers that run deep
But pray not ask me, Uncle,
Why I weep

Ill hear your voice in songs
By birds who chirp lightly sweet
But pray not ask me, Father,
About my defeat

Ill see your dance of joy
In lightings thunderous riot
But pray not ask me, Mother,
Why my voice is quiet

In the dark I walk alone
Heart leaden heavy in regret
Suffocating on memories,
Burdened to never forget

I ask from you forgiveness
Yet know it can never be
So in winters day I remember
Ever more, ever shallow, ever me

Untitled

 Ill never forget those
             eyes
 Vulgar in their pleading

 The memory of

Her future hatred

             rising

 Off of her

Like a great smoke

Fall into the rain
Let it
Wash away the pain
And tomorrows tears
Cried from all these fears

Let loose the wind
And we
Scream out all our sins
Into the sky
On hopes wings we'll fly

Silent is the wynter
As it toils in icy sin
That rages forward
To the firey song of summyr

She lives in a world of yesterday
of boxes and bags that have faded
into the edges of time gone by.

Isolated

Indeed it is lonely
in my deception
Living in lies
that win no reception

I heard you call
But could not answer
I was hiding inside
Defined by my cancer

You came to the door
But I stayed upstairs
Afraid you would see
I go through life scared

I locked all the doors,
Turned out the lights,
And said a silent prayer
To my demons of the night

Leave me not alone,
Lord,
Leave me not empty

Leave me not alone,
Lord,
Leave me not...