Some nights are lonelier than others.
It isn't until the dark shade of evening
that all of the day's failures
are given
life.

Flaws...
Shortcomings...
Not good enough...
Broken...
Bent...
Unworthy...

Anxiety suppressed into denial is given girth...
          and I choke under its weight.
The room gets smaller
as the silence gets louder...

And I know...

That I am not good enough. 
That all that I am will never meet all that they want me to be.

A disappointment unmeasured...

And a defeat
never to be forgotten,
as it lives anew

each
day.

Work in progress...

Ill look for you in the shadows
And rivers that run deep
But pray not ask me, Uncle,
Why I weep

Ill hear your voice in songs
By birds who chirp lightly sweet
But pray not ask me, Father,
About my defeat

Ill see your dance of joy
In lightings thunderous riot
But pray not ask me, Mother,
Why my voice is quiet

In the dark I walk alone
Heart leaden heavy in regret
Suffocating on memories,
Burdened to never forget

I ask from you forgiveness
Yet know it can never be
So in winters day I remember
Ever more, ever shallow, ever me

Untitled

 Ill never forget those
             eyes
 Vulgar in their pleading

 The memory of

Her future hatred

             rising

 Off of her

Like a great smoke